Collapsing Dam

Walls. 

Walls built up in my heart that tower over me. Walls that hold back the mighty River from flowing through me freely.

This dam I have lived with for far too long... These lies have collaborated to crush my life and silence my song.

But there is hope- cracks in this monstrous edifice. Slowly, truth is breaking in... eyes opening to see that I am blessed.

The fear and religion that have been my lifelong truth are crumbling into You, Overwhelming Love and Grace. 

As I stand on the Word and gaze on Your beauty, the cracks widen and I am changed, my heart rearranged to see Heaven's reality.

The wall is coming down. I BELIEVE.

Falling with a great crash into the depths of all You are, swept away never to hinder me again or mar the beauty that is You in me; Christ within, the hope of glory!

As the river breaks forth and flows so free, I become all You designed for me to be. JOY  LOVE  LIGHT TRUTH  GLORY!

And I will tell my story to all who will hear so they too can draw near and watch as their dam cracks and collapses and ABUNDANT LIFE flows clear!

Just Around the River Bend...

My apologies for not keeping up on this blog for the past few months. I'm trying to figure out how to juggle email updates, Facebook posts, and this all at the same time :-)

Well, a lot has changed. I finished my freshman year of IHOPU strong, and as I headed into the summer, I planned on coming back for my sophomore year in the fall.... 

HOPE- a beautiful place where prayers of incense rise to heaven

God had a better plan. 

My brother, Caleb, teaching at the HOPE

In short, God called me to NOT continue with IHOPU but to move back to my hometown of Evansville, IN and join full-time staff at the newly-started house of prayer there called HOPE (House of Prayer Evansville).  I know, it's a drastic change, but I'm starting to learn that I can't ever set anything in stone with God; My life is always up for His redirection, and all the turns in the road are for my good. As the scripture says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.

I'll be living in a small house with my brother Caleb, who is also on full-time staff at HOPE as a worship leader. I am very excited to strengthen relationships with my family members in Evansville, the HOPE family, and old friends/churches. I'll also be actively discovering the partnership team that God has for me.  God told me that I am equipped for this next season, so I'm going to believe Him!

August has been a transition month for me, and I'll be arriving in Evansville near the end of the month. For those of you in Evansville, I'd love to share more in person with you about my calling for this upcoming season and the future.

Please join me in praying for:
- safe travel to Evansville
- smooth transition and easy adjustment
- God's provision of a reliable car
- favor with possible part-time employment
- My heart as I say goodbye to friends in KC
- Revelation as I study/meditate on the book of Hosea
- Jobs/housing for my sister Leah as she gets on her feet
  in North Carolina.

If you'd like to financially partner with me, you can click donate on the right side of this page 
or email me at pearl2africa@gmail.com for a tax-deductible method.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. MAY YOU EXPERIENCE GOD'S LOVE IN A DEEPER WAY TODAY!

Restoration

Two weeks ago I went on my first
IHOPU ministry trip, and it was
the best short term mission trip I
have ever been on! We worked
with a ministry calledWeWill Go
who live and love in the heart of
inner city Jackson, Mississippi.
Everything, including houses and
people, is broken here, but God
showed me the power of His love
to restore. He says "Behold I make
all things new!"We had the
opportunity to physically restore
former crack houses, which is a
picture of my own dirty and
broken heart. As we tore down dry
wall and ceilings, God told me He
is remodeling me from the inside
out in this season. One day we
spent time just removing nails
from old wooden boards, and God
whispered "I am taking out of you
all that will cause harm to yourself
and others."

God physically restored people
too. A lady who had weak legs and
had to use a walker for the past 1 5
years was healed and walking
without her walker! One day in the
clothing bank, seven ladies who
had uneven legs watched as their
short leg grew to match their other
leg, and a man was 1 00% healed
of an injured knee! Praise the Lord


After ministering to the drug addicts at the
beginning of the week, we had a chance to
see God restore people who were just as
broken as the drug addicts but looked like
they had it all together on the outside. We
went to Central Hines Academy and loved
on 7th-1 2th graders. We broke up by
grades and gender so I was with the
Freshman girls. We were able to share our
testimonies with them and teach them how
to hear God's voice. Three of our girls had
never owned a Bible, so we gave them
each one.

Right before we were about to have a practice time of listening for God's voice, one of the
girls blurted out "Do y'all speak in tongues?" We were shocked because this is a Baptist
school that doesn't believe in the gifts for today, but we said yes and took it as an open door
for an altar call for baptism of the Holy Spirit! Three girls came forward, and I gave a mini
teaching and led them in a prayer asking their Father to give them the good gift of tongues. I
didn't think anything had happened, but one of the girls told me afterward that she heard the
word "Ah" in her head and kept repeating it. Her tongue language will be full-blown soon! A
couple days later I texted one of the other girls, and she said after praying for 45 minutes she
received her tongue language! Hallelujah!
The best part is that they want to stay in touch with us, and we have the privilege of
mentoring them long distance. Pray for these girls because they are under a lot of temptation
(drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality). Pray they fall in love with Jesus and have a hunger to live
for Him and forsake the things of the world. Two confessed their lifestyles of sin and gave
their lives to Jesus while we were there, and that was only in our group! God did so much
there, and I look forward to going back next year : )

On top of all this, we were able to connect with the
Jackson House of Prayer and pray/street witness with
them. They are precious people, and we had sweet
fellowship with them.
One of the amazing things that came out of the trip
(besides tons of miracles and my heart healing is the
bond of unity that was formed on our team. I have 31
new brothers and sisters, and we are starting a small
group and have been having worship and hang out
nights ever since we came back. Belonging to a group
like this has been a long-time prayer of mine. God is so
good!

Tuition Deadline Met!

Just a quick update to let you all know that God provided all the money I needed for the down payment of my tuition this semester! Hallelujah! We may think He is late, according to our limited perspective, but His timing is perfect from Heaven's perspective! Now I'll continue to lean on Him for each month's payment to finish off tuition!

Trusting Abba

Well, I am three days away from starting the second semester of FSM (Forerunner School of Ministry) at IHOPU and still trusting my Heavenly Daddy to provide the rest of the money needed to begin classes. Originally I needed $1100 to pay half and be able to get on a payment plan, but He has graciously provided $600 of that amount through generous supporters.

So now I only need $500 more before Monday, and He is faithful to meet all my needs according to His riches and glory!

I have struggled with gripping fear that He won't provide and will leave me stranded, unable to continue growing in the way I need to in this season. But when those feelings of fear overwhelm me, I just speak the truth out loud over myself:

- God will never leave me or forsake me
- If God gave up His only Son for me will He not graciously give me all things?
- If we as human parents are evil and know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more    will God give good things to those who ask Him?

He called me here, so He will provide:)

If you feel led by the Lord to help me financially in any way, just click on the button that says "DONATE" to the right and give with your credit/debit card via Paypal.

Blessings to you!

I want more presence!

During one of the prayer meetings that we had as a freshman class towards the end of the semester, Holy Spirit inspired the worship leader with a song that encapsulates my heart's desire and everything that God has been teaching my heart this first semester at IHOP. The song goes:

"What do we want for Christmas?
We want more presence
We want more presence (repeat)

So I'll look underneath the tree that You died on for me for more presence" (repeat)

All that I desire to have and become was made available to me at the foot of the cross, through the spilt blood of my Jesus. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places" (Eph. 1:3)

God is my Father who wants to give me good gifts, gifts of His love, peace, joy, revelation, wisdom, and grace. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)

When I, as His daughter, ask for bread, He will not give me a stone. When I ask for fish, He will not give me a scorpion. He delights to give me the desire of my heart, which is to be just like Him.

Each gift is an attribute of God's character. Each is placed before me, ready for me to discover with delight the treasure hidden inside! And this is eternal life that they know you, the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (John 17:3)


Father, give me a revelation of my inheritance through the finished work of Jesus on the cross this Christmas season and throughout the New Year. May every day be Christmas in 2013!

The Essence of Being a Christian

I have been here at IHOP for what seems like years, but it has only been two and half months. The amount of revelation He is graciously giving me about who He is, who I am to Him, and how He has sovereignly brought me to this point in my life journey with Him is more than I have received in most of my years on earth combined.

Have you ever thought that something was one way, only to find out that it is completely the opposite? Shocking isn't it? Well, that's what is happening with me right now in multiple areas.

My whole life Christianity has been a blazing fire of performance and striving for perfection... until the fire was stomped out by personal failure and painful life circumstances. Since then I have sat in the charred ashes of confusion and condemnation, wondering how to do this thing called the Christian life. The Lord has used IHOP to bring me revelation about what it truly means to be a Christian- a "little Christ." Being a Christian doesn't mean I try hard every waking minute of my life to not sin so that God will love and accept me based on my own merit. If I do, I will fail every time... Being a Christian means I know that I am weak and broken and nothing without Jesus, but that I also know He sees me as beautiful and spotless because Jesus chose to suffer and die on the cross, shedding his blood for me. I am dark, but lovely.

And something I never understood before that is starting to bring me freedom is this: God enjoys me, even delights in me during the lowest points of my weakness and failure! He isn't angry with me or disappointed... no. Just the opposite! He sees the "yes" in my heart to love and obey him (even when I fall short), and He is so pleased!

So now whenever, I feel horrible about myself because I've messed up AGAIN, and all I can do is cry, and condemning, accusatory thoughts assail my mind, I say "Enjoy me, God... right here, right now." And He does! He has been shouting that He delights in me for YEARS, but now I am finally able to hear it. And oh how thankful I am! When the truth of His delight in me sinks down deep, I will rise from the tear-stained ashes and dance upon them! My God turns my mourning into dancing, my sorrow into joy. He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in me. He quiets me with His love. he rejoices over me with singing.

Being a Christian is not about following every rule and being perfect to earn God's love. To be a Christian is to know God enjoys us and to enjoy Him in return :)